Movin' On

Dad's funeral was Saturday afternoon. The service was very well done. Both the funeral home and the preacher did an excellent job. It was hard but we made it through..... For now, Mom is doing better than I expected she would. She's a strong woman. Rick, my brother, is staying with her for a while and helping her get organized. I spent most of today with them and can say that I'm impressed with how she is handling all of this, particularly given that she will be 90 years old on Thursday...... Although she is the oldest of her siblings, she has managed to outlive 5 brothers and sisters. She's hanging tough. I can only hope that I will be so lucky and be able to live that long.

Christmas Morning

As I sit here Christmas morning, it just isn't a merry day - at least not yet. Dad has only been gone for two days, and it won't seem like Christmas without him. He is at least pain free now. We are gathering at Jeremy & Erica's house for lunch and the usual festivities. When I get around my boys, their wives, and the grandkids, they will all undoubtedly cheer me up. I need them with me now more than ever.

"End of the Line"

Dad (aka Grandpa) passed away this morning at 4:37AM at Huguley Hospital. As always, he was a fighter until the end. I will miss him as will all the family..... The memorial service is Saturday at 2:00pm at Crosier-Pearson Funeral Home in Cleburne. His obituary - http://www.cpcleburne.com/content/obituaries/view.jsp?OID=43065.

MRI...!!!!!!!!!

Had an MRI today ordered by the doc from UTSW. Still trying to figure out why I've lost some peripheral vision. Connie set up an "open MRI" so that they don't put me in one of those tube type MRI machines. She tells me that my claustrophobia won't be a problem with the "open MRI machine". Turns out that she don't know s%#$. As we left for the appointment, I realized that I forgot my valium prescribed specifically for this event to combat my claustrophobia (but we're at Dad's hospital and the valium is at home). Connie says "no big deal, it's an open MRI". I go along with that - I'm a big boy - right? Crap! Holy crap! OPEN my ass!!! That damn machine is about 2 millimeters from my face. Close the eyes - breathe - think of something else! The damn thing sounds like I have a bucket over my head and some SOB is banging it with a baseball bat! Then the sound stops for a minute and I realize that I'm sooooo tensed up that I'm resting on the tips, yes the tips of my shoulder blades! With my legs on that foam doohickey, I am so tense that ONLY the shoulder blades are touching the machine! Deep breath, relax... Ahhhh now I'm on my back. Oh crap - here goes that sound again and it's LOUD!!! Tense up...... This goes on for like 6 hours (the clock says maybe 15 minutes but the bitch rigged the clock - had to). Now she's sliding me out and says: We're on the home stretch. HOME STRETCH! We should be done. Nope. Gives me some dye with an IV and here we go again!!! This lasts FOREVER!!! Somehow I survive. Where's my valium???? My neck, back, butt, sides, etc. hurt from being tense for so long. Turns out the clock says that the whole process took maybe 35-40 minutes. My initial estimate was 12 hours - at least it seemed that way...... Ain't doin' that again unless I've got a butt load of valium in me - or better yet knock me OUT!. And if they ever put me in one of those tubes I WILL dismantle that sumbitch from the inside out! GOD I'm glad that's over.....

Grandpa Update - Monday, 12/22

Dad had most of the family visit last night which I really appreciate and I know that he did too. He seemed a bit agitated most of the time but I think he just wanted to talk and couldn't. As soon as everyone left, he went to sleep and slept relatively peacefully. This morning he continues to rest well with intermittent bouts of coughing. Probably fluid buildup in the lungs.... We are meeting with a social worker and hospice late this afternoon to understand the options for moving forward. It looks like the decision for the next step is almost upon us.

Grandpa Update - Saturday, 12/20

Went to see Dad today. They moved him from PCU back to a room. He was asleep and slept the entire hour+ that I was there. Nurse told me that they had given him some pain medication. Also said that he ate a little bit. I left him a bottle of chocolate Boost - his favorite. Maybe he'll drink it when he wakes up. They still have him on IV feeding and hydration and now have him back on a catheter.

Grandpa

Things aren't looking so good for Grandpa. The hospital moved him to PCU when his heartbeat starting racing and became irregular. I spoke with his Cardiologist today who said that they will do everything they can with medication to stabilize his heart. But, his heart is so weak that they can't do surgery to remove the lymphoma and it's too weak for them to even do chemotherapy right now. It doesn't look good. He refuses to eat (abdominal pain from the tumor) and just continues to get weaker. The prognosis is not good.

Confirmed

Dad had his surgery today and, yep, it's cancer - lymphoma. Doc said it was a large mass and it's interfering with / causing a partial bowel obstruction. He stopped the operation and conferred with the Oncologist by phone. They decided that the procedure to remove the mass was too risky compared to the risk of chemotherapy. So they took a biopsy which will allow them to pin down the type of lymphoma and closed him up..... After recovery, they moved him to ICU for the night. He seems in good spirits and looks better than he has in several days. He's ready to go with the chemo and I'm optimistic. After some nutritional supplements and some time to recover, they'll start his chemo.... Mom is suffering more than Dad right now from the anxiety and being home-bound. She's a basket case right now.

Not Good

My Dad was supposed to have surgery yesterday to biopsy a mass in his abdomen. Of course we're concerned that it is a cancerous tumor since he's had surgeries for that twice before. To our surprise, the doctors decided to postpone the surgery because his heart is too weak (less than 20% normal function) to take the strain of anesthesia. So they will try again on Thursday after some meds to stabilize his heart and replanning the procedure to use maybe a local and a sedative rather than traditional anesthesia. This doesn't look good but with a bit of luck and a prayer maybe he can make it past this too. After all, he is a pretty tough old man.

Test, Test, Test

Saw the Neuro-Opthamologist at UTSW Med School again. Dude seems baffled by my loss of peripheral vision. Further testing showed a slight reduction again and he has no diagnosis. Now wants me to have an MRI and then another appt in 2 months - probably retesting. Keep using the eye drops he says. At first, he says it's not related to the accident. Now he's asking if they did an MRI at JPS. How the H#$% should I know - I was in a coma: I told him. These introverted, anal retentive specialists are annoying when they don't LISTEN but stick their head in test results! His time is running out.